I think it is time to say goodbye. To bid my farewell. Yes, I think we are heading for a divorce, me and you. It's not that we've been cheating on each other, fighting in front of the kids, having too much ”not tonight, honey, I have a headache” in the bedroom. It's that we seem to have run out of words. I don't have much to say to you and you don't have much to say to me. That became clear to me the last time we went out for dinner. We sat at the restaurant table, opposite each other, a thousand light years apart, gazing past each other into numb nothingness. Our silence spoke volumes.
”the spring rolls were as erect as a cocker spaniel's ears"
You are the Chinese restaurants of Riga, and for the purposes of this review you are represented by Ķīniešu Bistro on Čaka iela 110. Not to their credit, they really are the epitome of a marriage gone sour. If only they'd had the decency to repeat the show they put on the first time I went there, because that was worthy of a song! They re-heated my sloppy dumplings in the microwave before my eyes. They gave me simple soy when I asked if they had some dumplings sauce. My vegetarian friend had one dish to choose from. The spring rolls were as erect as a cocker spaniel's ears; it seemed like they were just looking for a quiet corner so they could slither away and die. And did I mention that the food was cold (except for the micro-waved dumplings, that is)? To complete the picture of a soup kitchen gone mad, the music coming from terrible-sounding €3 speakers was fighting the noise of a movie that some guy in the staff was watching. Yes, on a TV in the dining area, among the guests.
”they were just looking for a quiet corner so they could slither away and die”
On my next two visits, when I skipped the buffet and went for the menu, Ķīniešu Bistro shaped up somewhat but everything felt just... empty. Not enragingly bad, not exhilaratingly good, just... like wind rushing by you on a city street wet with rain, only to have been forgotten at your next breath. The only reason I haven't yet given up on this Swedish-Chinese marriage is for all the memories we share. For all other intents and purposes, though, we're through.
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